Jess Rhymes

You said, sometimes people have to fall apart to fall back together. You said this was a matter of the heart. I say, an ex-lover just spun me a great line so he can break my heart for the second time! I thought it was a night of passion for two souls meant to be, I see now that it was just curiosity and you wanting to see, Did you still do it for me and do I still do it for you? You wrote me songs and told me stories, so you could seek out some kind of glory, But the earth never moved, the stars didn't suddenly align We are not two star-crossed lovers able to turn back time. I spend hours crying trying to find the meaning,  watching the clock and my phone and staring at the ceiling, I am back to that little girl you hurt all those years ago, broken and lost, I can still taste my tears from the first time you made me feel worthless and tossed. You never made me feel special, yet I hung on your every word I showered you with affection, a

His eyes, penetrating. Deep brown, inside my soul, they stare. Kind eyes...gentle mirrors mask the tears he once cried. Bright eyes...although once dimmed he still shines inside. Her eyes, raw..bruised, like the heart she needs saved, vulnerable and shy, she is naked in front of him. Warrior eyes that have not stopped fighting for love. Through those strong brown eyes seep tears of sorrow, but as they roll down and away..so do past's bitter battles. Two pairs of brown eyes meet, they do not blink for fear of losing precious time, so time stands still... and in that stillness, their hearts beat, a beat that seels an everlasting connection, two souls intwined      for the rest of time.

There is something in my core and soul that irresistibly pushes me to connect with you. I thought this was just lust or an attraction grown out of deficiencies in my life. I thought I must be looking for a distraction -but I know now that you are my soulmate. The thing about love is that it sometimes just arrives unexpectedly, like a family member that you have never met suddenly announcing that they are at your front door. You don’t expect him, nor did you invite him over, but while he stands on your porch, there is a strange sense of familiarity that comforts you and so you invite him in for tea. Love sometimes comes with two souls just connecting, the conversation needn’t be consciously profound. It comes with eyes that meet across a room, eyes that speak their own language where the mouth need not take part, a deep feeling of knowing and connection. I feel irrationally and strongly attracted to you and yes this attraction might manifest as or be confused with romantic or sexu

Mommy spoke to god today I’m not sure what the two of them had to say, but she’s angry- and happy and needs to wash her sins away. Today is the day, she shaves off her hair and takes off her clothes and runs into the sea. I’m only eleven and scared and all alone, she tells me to sit in the car quietly,  But to the police I feel forced to plea. She’s spitting and fighting and then the doctors come; now she sits there quietly just hating me. Without the meds, I know I will lose her and with them she is permanently lost at sea.  This disease has robbed me of a mother; I have paid the ultimate cost. I am angry, I  feel I have raised you, my needs, to the side they were tossed. I yearn for something I have never known- a mother’s wisdom I crave. But instead you are lost in your thoughts-your mind a never ending maze.  You don't sleep, so neither do I,they call it mania and it's a high unbearable to those you leave behind and then there is a low

The lines in the mirror, come sharper and clearer.  The credit card cuts both ways, and any note would do, just to blow tomorrows yesterdays- as if I ever knew.  It's hard without you, you always took away the pain with ease. No matter the problem, the right dosage of you would always appease. How did we blow it? If I knew moderation we could still kick it. I yearn to be numb, I yearn to be dumb, but I have taken a vow to leave you behind. without you the pain is intolerable, I'm losing my mind.

#BringBackOurGirls  Baby girl, I see your dreams. How dare you be so naive  You are a daughter of Africa and at birth is where those aspirations you should leave. You will taste a pain unimaginable, your innocence wont follow you into your teens Because baby girl, you are a daughter of Africa and this place is mean. Baby girl, I hold your hand and wonder how I will keep you safe, How can I protect you from this evil that is your inevitable fate?     How could I be so selfish to bring you into this world, how could I be so unkind? I knew full well of this place and its evil, but couldn't leave my yearn to have you behind. I fear I am powerless in protecting you. Will you ever forgive me?  Baby girl, when you too become just another statistic, Oh Baby girl, this place is evil and the men who live here are sick and sadistic.